Precious Oh My!

Nah am not talking about Smeegol and his precious {read like in Lord of The Rings}. Hahaha...I am talking about "the precious" for every woman on their special day, the only day that makes her a queen. Can you guess it?

Yeap! Clever indeed...it is always about the ring. I think I have been looking at rings after rings since December last year. I only made up my mind a couple of months ago and decided that purity and simplicity is the way to go!

When Mr.S and I were talking about engagement ring {we weren't even thinking of having one, but elderly rules} we were at dead end. I like gemstones and diamonds but they don't really have that many options- really! Either they are a bit too mature for my taste or way too exxy!!

And then something slithered into my mind. Kelantan have nice gold compared to anywhere else {yeap! Ask anyone. They will tell you.} and since mommy knew a reliable talented goldsmith in Kelantan, we ordered one from there. Phewwww!! One big boulder lifted.

Waittttt....that would not be all. The stress heightens when it comes to looking for wedding band. Mr.S wedding ring?! Nightmare shop-hopping! I will tell you about this some other time...

Love,

Lilly Ishak

Perfect Two - US baby!

Sorry for long hiatus people. I have been trying to publish my pages but been having errors from blogger. AM out-of-idea!

Meanwhile, enjoy our (Mrs.S & Mr.S) wedding song...

(okay one of the song.Hahahaaa...)

Love,

Lilly Ishak

iWedding Deluxe?

We usually talk every afternoon, evening and night {morning? he's probably still snoring! Hahahaa...} and Mr.S was uber excited the other day. Come to think of it, you lots may say he is even more enthusiastic about the wedding plan thingy compared to me. The conversation as below:

Mr.S:

"Hey baby!! How are you?"

Mrs.S:

"Hey hey love! Me good. You're at work? How are you bee??"

Mr.S:

"Yeah me at work. Me good good. Heee...bee, I found an app on iPhone. Wait till I show you. You gonna love it. Definitely!"

Mrs.S:

"App? Which app now bee? Gaming again?"

{this only because he's always downloading and godek-ing app store}

Mr.S:

"Well it is called iWedding. It helps you arrange your guest lists and seatings and a lot more. Search and download it bee. It's useful for you."

{as usual, ever so schweet!}

Mrs.S:

"Awww...bee such a darling!! Thank you bee. Me download it later okay when am done with work. Me love you love!"

{the last sentence read it with baby-ish tone.Hahahaa...}

Mr.S:

"No worries la bee. Me help to make your life easier... okay la bee. Me have to go do work now. Talk to you later okay?!"

{lately he started using "la" in his sentences. Wonder where he got it? hmmm...}

Mrs.S:

"Okay bee. Talk to you again in a bit. Me love youuuu!"

Mr.S:

"Me love you moreee!"

I always trusted his taste and judgement when it comes to applications and IT nerdy stuff. Heh! Am pretty much useless. Not that am anything mostly am a lazy bum bum. So yes. I downloaded the app he was saying and trust me, all bride-to-be should have one of this. You can plan and organize your big day from A to Z using iWedding Deluxe. From budgeting to seating arrangements. Why need to stress when nowadays everything is at the tip of your fingers?!

Oh! Application can be bought from App Store for $9.99 only!

Love,

Lilly Ishak

Verocious.Objuration.Wright

Dear Mr.S

I will always... promise to give you the best of myself,

and to ask you no more than you can give.

I will always... accept you the way you are.

I fell in love with you for the qualities, abilities and the outlook on life that you have and I won't try to reshape you into a different image.

I will always... respect you as a person with your own

interests, desires and needs,

and to realise that those are sometimes different--

but no less important than my own.

I will always... share with you--

my time, my close attention,

to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.

I will always... pledge to keep myself open to you,

to let you see through the window of my personal world,

into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.

I will always... promise to grow along with you,

to be willing to face changes as we both change in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.

I will always love you--

In good times and in bad, with all I have to give,

and with all I feel inside...

in the only way I know how,

COMPLETELY and FOREVER!

Love,

Lilly Ishak

Fluffy Stuffy Dusty Day II

[continue from Fluffy Stuffy Dusty Day posted on May 1st]

Eid Fitr 2010 was my longest holiday in 4 years! Haishh...it was that bad. This time, this eid was slightly different. Mr. S appeared and yeap! he was back in Mauritius for festive. I knew he went back but wasn't bother to ask him when or how long. This time it was the other way round. No more me ranting, sighing and crying.

It was his day, his sorrow, his sadness...his humpty dumpty fell-off-the-wall day. I tried to return the favor. I listened, saddened by his sadness --and I fell for him. I was scared if it was some kind of pity sake or rebound thing etc. but the more I think of it, I realised I've missed him ever since he stopped talking to me. I missed our late night pillow talking, I missed the fact that whenever am sad he always managed to cheer me up!

It took several friends {I love you guys so so much!} to convince me to make me see that am actually in love with Mr.S. To confess?Urhh...that is my hardest part because during the listening session we had I realised he wasn't really busy with work or study. He was busy courting!

My bestie was always there and gave me motivation to confess my love for Mr.S of which yes, of course I did! Darn, I was blushing like lobster boiled in hot water!! Luckily he couldn't see my face at the time. Hahahaa...

That conversation ended up with us sorting out a lot of stuff. When I said a lot of stuff, it was A LOT!: matter of the heart, life, money, family and FUTURE! All those talking made me stopped and thought about it thoroughly. To my astonishment, we complement each other so much I don't have words to describe them.

We concluded we should give it a chance. See where it leads us, to see if we are cut for each other. And fate is on our side. Maybe it has been written as our destiny.

How we got to a term in deciding to settle down and got married was another whole different story. Hold on to my words when we didn't really look at settling down this year but the numbers was too tempting to resist. Hahahaa...We were not those kind of people who are obsess with integers, beautiful numbers kinda thing. But we said to ourselves, "Oh what the heck! We love each other so much, we are there at the right age, we have jobs, we can take responsibilities well...so why postpone?!"

We decided to be together in September 2010, he met my family in December 2010 and we announced our wedding date in January 2011. Everything was as smooth as satin. As if nothing can stop us!

We were wrong!! We had tons of issues with the other family {hint: not my family}. Mawkishly silly egoistic bickering, not to mention melodramatic soap opera and ooh! it nearly gave me hypertension. Sigh~

Didn't really expect this and yes, Mr. S is the apple of his mother's eyes! Yes yes I can hear you people say "No wonder!". Hahahaa...I just want everything to be perfect. With both families and elders to be there. I wish the other family would just listen to what we have to say, what I have to say.

Oh well! Even how preposterous it may sound at the moment, I know one day it will just fall into place. It is quite a journey for both Mr.S and me, electrifying I must add, and I am determined to prove that I deserve Mr.S and he deserves me. Being together and have "US"-- worth the while, the fightings, the bickering, the tears, the never ending drama and we do not need to justify our love to anybody.Whoever that anybody could be!

P/S: To the other family, if you happened to read this entry, please know I respect all of you. I just wish you take the time to get to know me, to understand your own son rather than contradicts everything he says or does. I am not stealing him away from all of you, I merely want to be in his world as much as he is in my world. Please be part of our world too and be happy for us. That's all I've ever wanted.

Wish us luck!

Love,

Lilly Ishak

Save the date for US!

I did this save the date postcard earlier this year. Now that I have 4 months, 27 days, 22 hours, 11 minutes and 44 seconds to go...my heart is doing series of somersaults. {and I don't think I've ever done that before!}

The moment I think of you I go into another world- a world where you love me so much and I can never be hurt. The truth is, I don't know what to say. My mind goes completely blank! In life I have lost my way, but with you I knew I had found my way...FINALLY.

My heart sank, I can hear the strong voice telling me,

"What is it that you do that makes me love you so?"

Maybe, loving you isn't a mistake.

Maybe, I can close my eyes and smile again.

Maybe, in your presence my heart wouldn't break.

Maybe, just maybe I can dream for a while. **smile**

I have no clue. Sometimes, I wonder if you feel the same way. Do you think of me like I think of you every second of the day? I wonder if you sometimes silently call out my name?

In the beginning I thought it was fake, I didn't think I could love somebody this much. I'd never thought I'd go this far! Now, I can't stop wondering where you are... The question that keeps pondering my mind.

"Do you care?"

"Do you even know?"

"Will you always be there?"

If for any reason I cried, "Would you take the pain away?"

If for any reason I tumble and fall, "Would you lend me a hand and catch me?"

"Would you hold my hand and tell the world that I am your world?"

My love for you is way too strong for me to simply forget. Some people might think it is just another game we play, but your love is the one thing I can never ever regret.

So, Mr.S, just so you know... with every passing day I find myself amazed because I am falling more and more in love with you!

Love,

Lilly Ishak

smacking lips...pOppysmic!

Love,

Lilly Ishak

GO ahead make mistakes --

I don't know if you people out there remember, when we were young we kept being asked what do we want to be when we grow up. Our answers always varied depending on what interest us at that time. From doctor, lawyer, architect, fireman, teacher to ballerina. Name it! It was ever constantly changing sometimes, even according to our moods.

Now we're being asked again. BUT who the hell knows?!

This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, it is the time to make mistakes...

Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere -- CHILL! Change your mind then, change it again because nothing is permanent.

So why not, go ahead make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what do we want out of our life...we won't have to guess.

We'll know.

Love,

Lilly Ishak

Unbreakable!

For all the things I didn't say,

About how I felt along the way--

For the love you gave and the work you have done,

Here's the appreciation from your stubborn daughter.

You cared for me as a little tot,

When all I did was cry a lot.

And as I grew--

I ran and fell got black and blue...

You had to become a cop,

To worry about mistakes I'd make;

You kept me in line for my own sake.

I got older, and the story repeated;

You were always there whenever I needed.

You guided me and wished me the best.

I became wiser and knew I was blessed.

So for all the times I did not say,

The love I felt for you each day,

Umi & Mama, read this so you can always see--

Just how much you mean to me.

I wonder if I have ever thanked you for the simplest things--

The laughter, smiles, and quiet times we shared?

If I have forgotten to express my gratitude,

For all those things you have done for me, I thank you--

And hoping that you have known all along.

How very much you are loved and appreciated.

Umi & Mama,

Thank you for everything!

Love,

Lilly Ishak

This thing we called LOVE

I know I kept writing about love. Not as if I have nothing to tell you people about, but I think love itself is very vast. Sometime few years ago I posted this in my very old blog {hint: also on blogger} and am re-posting it here since I've deleted the old ones.

When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you, yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you, believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; and then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor into the season-less world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself; Love possesses not nor would it be possessed. For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, for love. If it finds you worthy, it directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; and to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy-- and then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails!

Love,

Lilly Ishak

Fluffy stuffy dusty day

Sometimes when am sitting at my desk, my very own corner...I just can't help reminiscing the day I met Mr.S. We knew each other in a {how do I put this} so not conventional way-- I think. I knew I had him in my contact list for as long as I remembered. We started talking to each other {IM messages okay!} in 2007 or maybe 2008 after Mr.S been staying dormant for quite a long while. Hahahaa...

Caught me by surprise but he was attentive, funny and very adorable. It went on and on {and on and on...} he made his presence comfortable in my daily routine life. I ranted, cried, talked and trust me, I think I told him almost everything that happened in my life. EVERYDAY! And yet, Mr.S faithfully stayed listened, guiding, advising and comforted me in every way I think he could imagine. For a guy, I know it must be tough!

When I left my ex who was always up-to-no-good for good, I became even closer - drawn to Mr.S. I dismissed the feelings thinking "Nah...am just mistaking this for something else! Could it be? Nah! Nah!". We continued our daily gibberish jabber and chatting as usual with me feeling even more in dazed. Awed but not stupid, I kept telling myself not to fool myself with such infatuation.

In one of our conversation, I was jokingly asked Mr.S to help me move things as I was shifting houses. My oh My! He said, "Suuureee. I'll let you know my schedule. I might have exam in the morning and only will able to help you later in the evening. Is it okay?" ---Okay firstly, you need to know I have never met this guy before. It did cross my mind couple of times, what if he turns out to be a psycho {although I doubt it because he is just uber nice.Hahahaa.} well, I guess I'll never know. That was my initial thought.

I wasn't counting on him to turn up but SURPRISE! Mr.S did come and help me packed, cleaned, moved as well as unpacked. Oh! before that my first impression of Mr.S was, "Geez! Couldn't he be more taller?! I feel like am walking next to a lamp post!" Hahahaaa...It didn't matter. At least he's willing to help me out, my conscience whispered. We even "play" dead --passed out tired cleaning up all the mess I'd created in front of TV. {hint: we were not even lying down}. First meeting and I tortured Mr.S, drained his energy till he passed out in my living room? Skinflint and mingy!! {Then only I got to know, he haven't slept since the night before?!}

I never thought he would ever want to continue seeing me after what I made him do. One fine day, he asked me if I would like to join him for career symposium at PWTC. I accepted with glee! Hahahaa...{I know I know...sounded corny right?!} I had so much fun and he was just perfect!

Somehow, after that day we made ourselves comfortable with each other but Mr.S suddenly stopped talking to me. I couldn't figure out why. I had to put my shame aside and I asked him out claiming his promise to bring me bowling. All I got from him was maybe, too busy and not convenient. Naturally, that was it I told myself, fin!

I was preparing for my trip to New Zealand when we {don't ask me how} continued talking as if nothing happened. He was such a darling and accompanied me --yes online, of course! throughout the trip including my transit for nearly 18hours at Changi Airport, Singapore. Yet there were always pit falls between us. We again stopped talking for no reason at all {at least nothing I could figure of}. And I went my way until....

[to be continued...]

Love,

Lilly Ishak