Through A Rapist's Eyes

This was something my dad shared to me back when I was about to enter adolescent years.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1. The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a women with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets. (Hee nothing to grab to...)
2. The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3. They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.
4. The time of day men are most likely to attach and rap a woman is in the early morning, between 5.00am and 8.30am.
5. The number ONE place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. Number TWO is office parking lots or garages. Number THREE is public restrooms.

The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught. Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 years sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

These men said that they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you are not worth it!

Several defense mechanism he taught us are:

• If someone is following (or if you noticed someone has been following for awhile) behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look at them in the face and ask them a question, e.g. "what time is it?" or make a general small talk e.g. "I can't believe it is so cold out here, we are in for a bad winter." --> Now you have seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target.
• If someone is coming towards you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell, "STOP or STAY BACK!" Most of the rapists this man talked to said they would leave the woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
• If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yelling "I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY!" and holding it out will be a deterrent.
• If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, PINCH the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh --HARD! (Youuchh! Soft vulnerable flesh. That ought to hurt real bad!) One woman in a class with this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands ---the guy needed stitches!! (Woahhh! I forgot we women always have long nails. SO men beware! Hehe.) GO ahead and TRY pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; YES! it hurts!!
• After the initial hit, always go for the GROIN! I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's part it is extremely, excruciatingly painful. You might think that you will anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told the instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing troubles, and he is out of there! *swoooshh*
• When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to one of his student without using much pressure, and his student ended up on his knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with you instincts. You may feel a little silly at the time, but you would feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

Share this with any woman you know, or to guys that have a wife, daughter, or even girlfriend. It is simple stuff that could save her life. Happy days all!

Love,

Iliyana I. Ramjaun